Weddings!

It may not be wedding season quite yet, but you can bet the planning is already well underway. And because a wedding article probably wouldn’t be quite so useful the very month of your nuptials, I’m writing it now by special request.

I have an issue with weddings. I love weddings, I really do, but what I don’t like is how retailers take advantage of engaged couples by making them believe that they have to fit a mold or their day just won’t be what they imagined it to be, while in fact the opposite is much more true. The truth is weddings are about you, the couple. It’s not about a formula or conforming to other people’s expectations. I really believe that the best weddings are the ones which show most the personality of the couple in a fun and unique way. You only get one chance to do this, God willing, so you should be having the most fun and least stress that you can manage. I’m going to focus on two main things here, the dress, and Etsy, both great fun.

That wedding dress… damn. Have you heard of “white blindness”, that thing brides get when all those white dresses sort of start to blend into each other so they start looking all the same and the process becomes simply overwhelming? I can relate. And I didn’t even start out looking for a white dress. Have I mentioned that conformity for the sake of conformity bugs the hell out of me? I have? Oh, good.

So anyway, I was in the market for a blue dress at first. I never wear white, so I thought starting now would be a little off. And I liked blue. So I went into bridal boutiques looking for bridesmaids dresses (which is a great option if you don’t want a white dress). Everyone in the shops assumed I was graduating from high school until I told them it was for my wedding, after which point they tried pushing the most hideous and expensive wedding dresses, and even uglier bridesmaids dresses on me that I had ever seen. I’m not sure if I was just in the wrong shops or what, but I felt like the 80s had exploded all over downtown. The whole thing quickly became a little unnerving.

What I learned from this was not to focus on labels. Slap the word “wedding” into the name of an item and watch its price jump and originality plummet. Not a great thing. You’ll notice that I tend to focus a lot on what things cost, but weddings especially are already really expensive. It’s important to save where you can. If you want a white dress, that’s fantastic. If you want to purchase it in a bridal salon, that’s also fantastic. I just feel it’s important to know about all your options.

For example, many formal dresses come in white. Many very beautiful ones that you wouldn’t find in a bridal salon, especially if you don’t go for the whole poufy ball gown thing. Outlet stores are especially great if you’re on a budget. I found myself a lovely backup dress at the Le Chateau outlet for 20$. A little too simple maybe, but when you’re dealing with something as important as that, it eases the mind to know you have a plan B in case anything terrible should happen to your plan A. In my case, it almost did. Long story, but my plan A almost never arrived.

I bought my own dress, a traditional white wedding dress, on eBay. A lot of people would recommend against that, and depending on who you are I will too. However if you’re a very casual laid back person, then it’s worth a shot as long as you know what you’re getting into. EBay dresses are factory direct designer knockoffs. They don’t tell you that, but it does have both a good side and a bad side. The good thing is that since you’re purchasing a dress that has yet to be made, they can make it custom according to all your measurements, and even color choice. I think this is amazing. It’s not likely to need much tailoring, especially great if you don’t fit into standard sizes, and you’re not stuck with white if that doesn’t float your boat. You can even choose the color of your trim. And many of the dresses are reproductions of the most gorgeous and expensive gowns you will ever see, all for around 200$ including shipping. Fabulous!

The bad side is that they are after all knockoffs, and while they’re not horrible, you can definitely tell the difference, so here’s where you just need to determine how much perfection you want. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting something legitimate so you know you’re getting the best possible quality.

If you like things a little retro-glam, you have to check out Unique Vintage. I think they’re awesome, and they have shoes and accessories too. I especially love this bridal emergency survival kit.

Another great place to look for dresses, especially if you’re a little indie, is Etsy. If you love the thought of something lovingly made by hand just for you, this is likely your best bet, and you don’t even need to know anyone who can sew, because these fine people are just itching to do it for you. These dresses will range from the very cheap to the very expensive, and are made by some extremely talented people. You might even find a semi-famous designer in your search. I had a custom shrug made for me just in case it rained, and it turned out the woman who made it designed dresses for the Oscars. Wow.

If you don’t find exactly what you’re looking for, many sellers are more than willing and to take on custom orders. They’ll do pretty much anything you want, and this is a great way to make sure you’re getting something that nobody else will have.

Speaking of Etsy, there’s much more than just wedding dresses there. They not only have a huge wedding section, but they sell pretty much anything you can think of. After all this you might be asking, What the hell is Etsy, anyway? It’s a huge website hosting a ton of individual shops that sell all things vintage and handmade, catering to every taste. It’s a great way to get something with a really personal touch, and I highly suggest you check it out, even if you’re not getting married any time soon. Personally I’ve become a little obsessed with it, and have gotten quite a few of my friends hooked too. This is where I get most of my jewelry, including a beautiful gold hair vine I wore in place of a veil, a velvet bag, and a ring bearer pillow that was made as a treasure chest. I’ll leave you to search the site and let the awesomeness you find speak for itself.

The last thing to mention in this article is rings. You can get some great rings on Etsy too, but I want to do a special shout out to the place we got our amazing rings from, Handwoven Bands by Todd Alan Studios. And surprise, it’s online. Don’t worry; I’ll do a tutorial of online shopping soon in case this is something you’ve ever been apprehensive about. The name pretty much describes what they are, wedding bands expertly woven by hand in a variety of gorgeous braids. They are truly stunning, and let me tell you, the service is exceptional. We were phoned by Todd twice to make sure our color selection was correct. I can’t recommend him enough.

Never mind, that wasn’t the last thing. I just have to tell you about Offbeat Bride, which is both a book and fantastic web community. You don’t have to be offbeat to enjoy communicating with other brides and getting loads of ideas for the big day. It works sort of like Facebook. You get your profile, and you can join groups relating to all sorts of different wedding topics where you can have fun and insightful discussions with all the other girls, and even a few grooms. I absolutely love it. The best part of all? Wedding Porn, the greatest and most fun source of inspiration on the entire internet, in my humble opinion.

So I think that’s about it for the wedding article, but of course if you have any questions or if there’s anything more you’d like to see just let me know and I’ll see what I can do!

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